Archive for September, 2007

Lonely and forgotten..Never thought she’d look my way.

Posted in Craking the code of the Intellectual One on September 10, 2007 by intellectualnisa

Rain is nature’s way of saying ‘let’s cool down’. And somehow with those huge drops of water comes a very somber, warm feeling that makes u wan to snuggle up. Today as I look out my window, I dun just see rain, I see life. The life that goes on, despite the downpour. Everything goes on as per normal, as if the rain didn’t really make a difference. People still walk the streets, drivers still roam through the wet slidy roads and trees still bask in the gentleness of the drops of water.  

How I wish life was the same, as we go through each hurdle we don’t bask in the troubles we face, yet we stop, retrace our steps and ponder on the next step. Sometimes it takes a few minutes, sometimes days, weeks or even years for us to go on again. In each life, hurdles are the humps in our road, some in a hump zone where in every second, there is a hump waiting for you to overcome it. Still there are some where the humps are so far apart yet so huge that it takes a hard step on the accelerator to make you overcome the steepness. Yet we still know behind every hump is a greener pasture, something we hope and pray is gonna be worth the added acceleration. But do we? 

Are we always satisfied over what the outcome turns out? Well, let me make you think here for a second, has there ever been a time in your life where you had to reach so far ahead that u wished that it was gonna be worth the struggle, yet at the end of the road, all you had was disappointment. My question is why?

Why is it that you struggle so damn hard and all you get in the end is so not worth it sometimes?  

Wait you say? Justice seeks those who are patient enough? Only time will tell? 

Funny how sometimes all you needed to hear was a simple thank you, or u’re doing great and somehow these words dun even get anywhere near what u actually hear…..   

WHEN SHE LOVED ME
Sarah mc lachlan
When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart
And when she was sad, i was there to dry her tears
And when she was happy, so was i, when she loved me.
Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all
Just she and i together, like it was meant to be
And when she was lonely, i was there to comfort her
And i knew that she loved me.

So the years went by, i stayed the same
And she began to drift away, i was left alone
Still i waited for the day, when she’d say “i will always love you.”

Lonely and forgotten, never thought she’d look my way,
She smiled at me and held me, just like she used to do,
Like she loved me, when she loved me

When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful,
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart
When she loved me.

When the going gets tough, the tough give up!

Posted in Craking the code of the Intellectual One on September 7, 2007 by intellectualnisa

Its been a long week…. Finally its friday…. Exhausted from school and work… but looking forward to truckloads of chores this weekend….Life u say? How mundane can it get…

Lets see this weekend is finally a free weekend where i can just lie low and concentrate on getting started on my essay. I sure hope all goes well… Apologies to readers if writer is in sombre mood… But thats just how it feels these days…. I sit at bus stops i cry… i sit on my bed i cry….. i sit on long bus rides i cry….. Haiz… to think that tears have a minimum limit….. Even my sweetheart Gary Dourdan isnt doin whats hes supposed too….

Sometimes i can be such a girlie girl…Ewww wat a thought….

Somehow i wish i was a superhero, saving the world, getting instant gratification here and there, but they get lonely too right? 

U ever feel like theres this part of you thats just missing like if this part was there then all will be complete? Like u feel so empty inside, all hollow … Hmmmmm

Someone wise once said,

“When life throws you rocks, catch it”

But i caught too many and now my shoulders are stiff!!!!

Revenge Sneeks a Huge Peek!!

Posted in Craking the code of the Intellectual One on September 3, 2007 by intellectualnisa

 ILOVEREVENGE-GOTHIC.gif goth image by Newbie0916

This weekend brought me back to my awkward years. Funny how prior to my visit to my old secondary school i chatted with a friend about it and then another fren commented on those very exact moments which are etched in my brain forever.

My old secondary school held a womens day for muslimahs and i went and all the time i was there i couldnt help reminising all the times where i sat in that exact spot on the gravel road where our flag raising was held and pretended to extend our intellectuality by reading and all those times looking at boys and wishing how life would be more perfect.

The times we would pretend to attend music class but skip and do something more meaningless. All those detention classes with dearest VJ and not to mention the number of times i stood outside the general office…. Sheesh..

All those times the three of us would sing My heart will go on…. until the day one of us got stranded under the table in the office….. And both of us had to do the pep talk…. 

All the times i had my heart ripped out by boys who were in love with sophisticated beautiful girls and had one little nerdy  gawky gal (me) chase after them instead.. Literally and Physically too…. haha

And how  i used to love the word literally cause of a certain someone and how i used to be Nisa Litrell until Mr harris realised i wasnt mixed and just trying to be someone i wasnt….

How we used to hang in the NPCC room as NCOs and charge all the juniors and scream songs in our loudest voices… And the frens we made and lived with….

All those times we sat under the block and talked about newsletters and the club that didnt go very far….. All the jokes…. Ahhhhh

All the pain and laughter somehow moulded into me…. I have some great and some terrifying experiences there but i wouldnt change it for the world… I still love all those days… I do… I just hate now…

Wish things were simpler….. wish we never grew up……wish time would stand still…..

goth.jpg goth image by martyfly1

I couldnt imagine how cruel you could be,
Cause you snatched everthing
And you wanted revenge for me
But all i wanted was for you to see
That you ripped out my heart while it was still beating”

“Forgiveness never entered my mind
Cause my heart stopped beating
As soon as you left me behind
All i ask now if for you to return my heart
Cause with all the hurt, i never stopped loving