The Bucket List

Do you ever think about getting older? Its weird but as a 24 year old, i do ponder on the future, the future where old age creeps up on you. An age where you become dependent on others to just go on living, a life full of more pain literally and physically.

We walk down the same road everyday and what we dun see is the future of walking the same path. We see the past, but the future?

Sometimes its scary to think about the future, about who you’re going to become? The creepy old woman who loves cats or the naggy old woman who everybody cant stand, or even the sick old lady everyone just can’t be bothered about anymore. Hey its life and no matter how much we avoid the inevitable… it happens…

After watching the movie The bucket list, which i recommend to anyone and everyone. i realised i never made a bucket list before… Oh and in case u’re wondering what a bucket list is, its a list you compile of the things you want to do before you ‘kick the bucket’ or so to say.. so here goes my list.

1. To be my own boss, whether its a small devastating company or a multi billion dollar one, either way i just wan to see my hard work into something i can call my own.

2. To have the kiss… the kiss where you  begin slowly and softly just enough to make contact and as the passion deepens, the feeling like you dun even wan to stop for air.

3. To travel to egypt to see the pyramids, to admire the creation of royalty and all the deep secrets that lie within.

4. and lastly for now…. to be in love so much it hurts…..

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You’d better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

THE ONE

I cant believe it, but i had the dream… the most wonderful of all dreams… U know when u finally meet THE ONE… Haha i sound like morpheus….kwa kwa kwa

 

But on a real note really i met him, and in my dream he was perfect, he took me shopping and bought everything i wanted no matter how expensive or not… and yes that made him perfect.. Haha But the feeling that i woke up with was unimagineable… it was like woah… How can such a perfect man exist.. But he doesnt of course it is just a dream… Along with my all other fantasies add up i could be a million dollar author but hell it aint worth telling….

I wish i could mould my perfect man, he’ll be super hot… Haha.. rippling muscles and all toned and sweaty but not like the foul smelling type of course ….more like the yummy sweat…HEHE… then then then he will have staight baby soft hair that side parts so perfectly that you just wan to reach out and toussle it…. ah the simle pleasures….

and then the face… oh man the face built with structure like you cannot imagine… ahhh droolz…….. with the right amount of stubble to  make the rugged look complete…. the arms not huge but bid enough to sweep you off you feet…. Now there are other qualities i look for too.. Dun judge me ok.. I am WOMAN….

But hey like i said, the perfect man doesnt exist… OR do they?……

 

A life without Love

Anais Nin once said ….

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.”

Somehow i feel like there could have been ways to prevent the loss of love, but for a fact i know that at a certain point, there’s not much you can do. And when that moment is here, you cant help nut feel defeated like a battle you strived so hard for, but yet in the end you just sit by to watch it demolish.

Love is cruel, its painful and sometimes its all you ever need.. But where do we draw the line? How do we tell whether its good or bad? What is it about love that controls your every other emotion?

Sometimes i feel its better to live without love until i realise how pathetic it really sounds… But hey what else can i do?

People change, they grow, they multiply and when they are all there outside laughing and sharing, what am i doing here alone…..