The One with the Laspe in Memory

Its coming together, i realised that im finally learning to smile again.

Though i do keep having these strange dreams with babies in them, it must b my biological clock ticking…whatever it is, i realised something, i need to werk on a lot of things in my life, i need to declutter.

Sometimes i wish i had a persoal assistant to help me along, so many things are to be done, but left untouched.. seriously either i need good organizer, or i need to get my lazy ass moving…

Anyways, like i said, many a plans to get moving….. so i shld probably end this post and start doing something… Hmmmm

The one with the Loss

Its another Wednesday… its been a week, and things are still not looking up. I dread to face life everyday, it feels like a repeated slap on the face, its like ‘are u sure u wan this?’ ever single day, every single second.

I wake up thinking how I’m gonna get through this, how I’m losing myself and still move on like as per normal. I look at every other thing around me and it just makes it harder, makes life harder.

I know i somehow have to get over this, cause with all things comes resilience, a chance, to grow stronger and bolder and better then before. But i still cant do it. Its never easy to lose, its never easy to get nothing out of something, it pains like you wouldn’t believe.

Been trying to get my mind out of it, but i still cant, everthing means something. I need more time, i need to get away, i need to live, i need to do things for me, i need me time…….but mostly i just need you.

Hey look at me all whiny…heh…. okie okie… must move on…. things will get better…*slumps forehead onto desk*

The One with the Climb

 

Today was one of those days, long and overbearing. I have no answers but so many questions. I cant seem to quite placate whats happening around me. I just want that one thing i know i cant have.

My head hurts, my heart hurts and my life stinks. I just want this to be over. i wan things to be normal again. I wan to be the old me. The one who was strong enough to overcome so much more than this, the one who stood on her own two feet, the one i looked up to.

Not this shell, this empty being who cant decide wrong from right, the one who so badly messed up and suffers in silence. I cant be this girl anymore, it hurts to much.